The Circle of Dionysos presented our 5th version of Yes They Are! at Pantheacon 2011 on Saturday afternoon, and many of us who were involved felt that this was our best production to date.  Director Robin LaSirena decided to frame this production within the traditional structure of The Lenaia.  We opened the ritual with a processional while singing the Seikilos, an ancient hymn to Dionysos that was found with musical notations, making it the oldest surviving complete musical composition in the world.  Benu, the Circle’s Honorary Orpheus who found Seikolos for us, taught the song to the crowd outside of the ritual space so that they could sing with us as they entered the space.  Then we were off on a comedic “competition” as each of the Gods sought to convince the crowd that they were the biggest ally of the LBGTIQQ community.  Hilarity ensued, particularly as Gods joined forces to play “Disfunctional Family Feud” or stripped down for the “Shallow Visual Competition.”  Who won?  We’ll never know. Dionysos called a halt to the proceedings before a winner could be announced, then got everyone up on their feet and dancing for nearly 15 minutes (even though the music only lasted for 5)!

Dieties who came through for this ritual were: Ganesha, Poseidon, Sekhmet, Hadrian, Zeus, La Nuestra Senora De las Putas (an aspect of La Virgen de Guadelupe/Tonantzin), Ninanna, Iris, Set, and Dionysos.  We also had a cadre of Maenads and Satyrs acting as support staff for the rite.

Om gam ganapataye namaha!

Ganesha is set in the middle of the circle and the cloth is removed.  One minion paints a Tilak on his mask, another gives him a sacrifice of coconut, another of candy.

I was first given life by Parvati in order to serve as the guardian of her privacy while she bathed.   I was a beautiful boy, sensitive and devoted.  But there were those who could not respect that sensitivity, who felt no need to honor my mother’s wishes,  even among those who were closest to me.  And so it came to be that my own stepfather cut off my head because I honored my mother’s charge over his desire.  So you might say that I know something about being bullied as a youth, of being rejected by those who one should be able to trust.  Homophobia is rooted in sexism, in the fear that one’s existence challenges another’s notions of masculine privilege.  If you wish to protect the youth of tomorrow, you must learn to see your obstacles in their entirety.

But wait!  My story, It Gets Better!  When Parvati learned of what Shiva had done, she was inconsolable  and told Shiva that if He didn’t fix this, He was (sung) Never gonna get it….again.   So Shiva sent his ganas to bring back the head of the first creature they could find.  They brought back the head of a female elephant, sewed it onto my body, and breathed back my life into me.  So now I am both transgender *and* transspecies.  You can’t get any queerer than that!

I am known as both the Remover and the Creator of Obstacles.  But this should not surprise any of you.  After all, those in your community who are like me are seen in exactly the same way.    It is easy to honor them in a historical context as the removers of obstacles; to refer to that night in 1969 when a bunch of drag queens and transsexuals rioted in New York City as “the beginning of the Gay Rights movement.”  But today they are treated like the creator of obstacles.  “Why can’t *those* people act normal like the rest of us?  Why are they always parading around in their feather boas and assless chaps?  Can’t they see that this is why middle America hates gay people?  How are we ever going to get same sex marriage with *them* on the TV?”  And so the oppression begins within your own community.

What is forgotten is that “those people” are out there every day questioning the norm and so removing societal barriers for finding and expressing one’s true self for everyone.  If it were not for “those people,” then the “normal gays” of today would still be considered “those people.”  The cultural shift that “those people” enact is both more enduring and more profound  than any short term political battles that may be lost because of them. So honor your freaks, your transfolk, your drag kings and queens,  the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the leather daddies, and the dykes on bikes, for without them there could be no movement, no removal of obstacles.

Remember this:  I was a household Deity with no festivals and no major following until 1893, when a wise man used my image and fesival and to unite the people in Maharashtra against the British colonial rule.  So I know something about struggles for equality.  One must be memorable before one can become an icon.  Which of your icons is most memorable?  A congressman from Massachusetts?  No.  A former boy band member who was outed by his boyfriend?  No.  A round-bellied, dog shit eating Drag Queen who called herself Divine?  Now that one has possibilities.

They tore me limb from limb, but I returned, stronger than before, and I prevailed.  My own family, my blood kin denied my place and power, cast me out.  But I returned, and when I returned, I was the stronger.  In all my journeys among you I have been reviled, scorned, called less than my fellows, but each and every time I have faced down my detractors, and they have called me God.  I have claimed my birthright, and it is time for you to follow.

I am the ultimate girlie man and from that I draw my strength.  Why?  Because I embrace it.  Because I own it.  Because I offer it as my gift.  My gift is madness.

It is madness for a man to deny his active lust and learn the pleasures of the passive.  It is madness for a woman to abandon her hearth and home to roam wild through the fields.  It is madness for a woman to kill and a man to refrain from killing.  It is madness…in Their eyes.  And every time we force them to see themselves in those positions, their madness grows, and with it the seeds of their destruction, for unlike me they will not be reborn with will and memory intact.  So fuck ‘em.  You all know better.  In you I see my visions come to life.  Like me, you are reborn out of adversity.  Like me, you challenge the rules of acceptable behavior and gender binaries and in so doing force your fellows to see past their limitations to the truth: We are One.

Yet again I hear you crying out in pain, reviled, scorned, called less than your fellows, trod upon like the grape.  Do not be like my brother bemoaning the loss of a beheaded flower.  Be like my Father, snatch the baby from the fire and hide it away, ready to be born another day even stronger than before.  Don’t need a hero, Be a hero.  A wise man once said “all the world is a stage and we are merely players upon it.”  This is your moment in the spotlight, make the most of it!  Command that stage and own your  pain, scream your pain, use your pain to make them cry, so that when they leave this theater and walk onto their own stages they are inspired to change the lines.  But do not become addicted to the pleasure of pain, for this too must pass.  Overdone Tragedy becomes Comedy, and overdone Comedy becomes boring.  Tonight’s Diva is tomorrow’s day old drag queen—Lipstick smeared, eyeliner clumped, heel broken,  making the walk of shame.

Everything changes.  Everything is born and dies and is reborn yet again.  The agony of the crushed grape becomes the ecstacy of the wine soaked revel.  Life is short.  Life is sweet.  Life is all that you know you have.  Why waste it living by someone else’s rules?  Find your joy in the vine, let my madness fill you, take back your nights and fill them with your heart’s desire.  And be grateful for the invention of plastic as it makes some of those desires much more easily fulfilled.  When I fulfilled my vow to Prosymnos back in the day, I ended up with so many splinters up my ass that I couldn’t sit down for a week?

Does it surprise you to hear a god speak this way?  “What about the children?” they say.  Turn that question around.  What about your children?  I speak not only of those you have sired, birthed, or raised.  I speak not only of those children who follow in your footsteps.  I speak of all your children.  An ancient sculptor shared your appreciation of his fellow’s form, and this child of his has lived on for thousands of years.  Another wise man in a state of ecstasy taught him by his beloved Shams exclaimed, “The wine I drink is the fire of love and God Himself pours it into my mouth. “ This and thousands of other poetic offspring sprung from this man’s love continue to inspire us a millennia later.  Reclaim your broken spiritual heritage that your children will know their importance, release your power that your children will be safe, and remind your fellow man that there are other ways of being and all need to be honored and protected.  Difference is not an aberration.  Difference is the point of existence.  If uniformity were the point of creation then a floating bed of algae would be the highest evolved creature and humanity wouldn’t exist.  So claim your peculiarities and differences, embrace them, learn to make them necessities and hone them until they are fabulous.  Every glass is always full, and this wise man says “Drink Up!”

Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods Playshop and Performance

San Francisco, Ca.  The Circle of Dionysos is proud to present the fourth production of their signature ritual performance piece Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods, conceived of and coordinated by Derik K Cowan at Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory.

In current times, religion is generally seen to be at odds with sexuality and gender variance, and members of the LBGTIQQ community often become victims of spiritual violence.  Historically, however, this was not the case—those who were gender variant or homoerotically inclined held important and unique positions in the spiritual traditions of many cultures around the world.  Yes They Are! was created to reintroduce some of those ancient (and not so ancient) traditions into our culture and to provide a source of affirmation and blessing to those within the LBGTIQQ community.   To date the Circle of Dionysos has performed three productions of this ritual performance, each featuring a different cast of Deities culled from various cultural pantheons, and all of our performances have attracted both standing room only audiences and rave reviews.

In addition to the ritual performance, The Circle of Dionysos will also be offering an interactive “playshop” facilitated by members of our cast.  During this playshop attendees will be given the opportunity to experiment with some of our creative processes and perhaps develop their own rituals of affirmation.  This playshop is the seed a larger Yes They Are! project that we plan to eventually develop into a full weekend retreat, so this is a great chance to get a glimpse of where we are growing and add your own input to influence our evolution!

Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods will be presented for one night only on July 3^rd.  The Playshop will begin at 7PM with the performance scheduled for 8:30PM.  Suggested Donation is $20, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds.  For more information, please contact The Circle of Dionysos at info@circleofdionysos.com.

It was that time of year again!  PantheaCon 2010 was held at the Doubletree in San Jose February 12-15th!  Pantheacon is one of if not the largest Pagan Convention in the United States–4 days packed full of rituals, workshops, lectures, concerts, parties, vendors, hospitality suites, and more!  Here’s a quick rundown of what The Circle of Dionysos did at this year’s PCon:

Our big event for PCon this year was the return of Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods.  Our production in 2009 was a huge success with lots of people calling it their favorite event of  Con.  Not ones to rest on our laurels however, we brought in a whole new cadre of Deities with new messages for this year!  We were again standing room only, and even though we had to fight to be heard against  the rock concert playing next door, my sense was that our audience poured all of their power into hearing what we had to say.   Certainly as a performer I could see and hear the audience’s emotional investment in the tears on faces during certain scenes and the laughter during the more lighthearted moments.  I’m super proud of our cast and crew of ritualists for stepping up and I’m looking forward to next year and working with the new people who came to us after the ritual and expressed interest in bringing their Deities in!

Our fiscal sponsors The Pagan Alliance hosted a hospitality suite as usual this year, so we participated in their events as well.  We were official co-hosts for Pizzanalia!, the Saturday Evening pizza party from 5:30-7:00PM, and while we weren’t there in any official capacity, you can bet we were around for the Queer Meet and Greet Cocktail Party Friday Night from 8:00 to 9:00 PM.

Our entire board of directors and many other members of the Yes They Are! cast also performed in this year’s Oracles from the Living Tarot on Sunday Night at 7PM.  This made for an intense switchover between productions and led to some very creative connecting of the rituals (including The Fool from OLT being transformed onstage into Dionysos for YTA).  All and all a very magical night of ritual theater–so magical that it claimed my voice for the rest of the night and the next day!

We had an amazing time and are already planning for next year!

Whether you consider your craft to be artistic or magical, it seems as if someone is always telling you to Write Down Your Experiences.  Dream Journals, Rehearsal Journals, Books of Shadows, Books of Scripts—no matter what you call them or claim as their purpose they all amount to the same thing–extra time added to your daily practice spent writing down what you did.  If you’re like me, it’s also the hardest piece of that practice.  When I’m coming out of an amazing ritual/performance/rehearsal, I want to ride that experience’s afterglow.  The last thing I want to do is grab pen and paper!  The same is true when I wake up from an intense dream or have a spark of inspiration–I don’t want to stop and record it, I want to get right to processing.   We live in a short attention span world, and all this journaling is slowing me down.  Why the constant insistence that these books are important?

The first and most obvious answer is also the most cliche–we write things down so that we don’t forget them.  There is no worse experience than having a ritual in which we created this amazing hymn or a rehearsal in which we made a real breakthrough in terms of character or staging  and then not having the ability to recreate that hymn or that breakthrough because we’ve forgotten it and no one wrote it down.  Studies have shown us that writing things down actually has a twofold affect on memory–not only do the written records we’ve produced fill in the gaps in between what we remember, but writing also helps us to remember more in the first place.  Because writing is a physical process that uses 2 of our senses–vision and touch–it invokes our sense memory or physical memory as well as our rational or mental memory, and we are more likely to find a memory if it is stored in multiple parts of ourselves.

Writing is a bridging process between more than just our physical and mental memories.  The second reason that Magi, Mystics, and Artists are so keen on writing things down is that writing as a practice helps bridge between our creative/subconscious selves and our analytic/conscious selves.  Hayden mentioned this when he talked about dream journals–by writing our visions down we can start to track symbols and where/how they appear and thus begin to understand what those symbols mean to us.  Similarly, writing requires us to find a way to quantify and qualify our visceral experiences, to find a way of communicating them and that requires us to break down our right brain/left brain or conscious/subconscious barriers.  This is one reason why I personally find that a real “paper and pen” recording process works best for me in this sort of work–I can continue to communicate via doodles and diagrams when verbal communication methods fail to bridge that gap.  That’s not so easy to do on a word processor.

I’ve known the above reasons for the recording process of my practice for years, but just this past week I discovered a third reason that no one had really made explicit to me before.  I was going through some old papers when I came across a rehearsal journal from a previous show I worked on.  On the very first page I found this written as the initial concept for the performance:

In many of the old religions, GLBT persons held special roles as shaman/seers/etc because they were perceived as taking part of both male and female spirits.  In modern times, however, we are by and large a secular community, ostracized by the religious systems that have come into power in the past millennium, and frequently considered frivolous in our pursuits of pleasure.  But are these pleasures we pursue so frivolous or are they simply a modernization of the rites of old?  Sacred or Profane, who are we?

Sound familiar?  It’s awfully like the concept for Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods, last year’s performances of which propelled the Circle of Dionysos into becoming what it is today.  But the concept above was written for a never performed dance piece I was developing back in 2003, before The San Francisco Gay Men’s Open Wiccan Coven, which was my first queer spiritual community, even existed.  The day I found this journal I was feeling depressed and questioning a lot of my decisions over the past year or so.  It was lovely to find such a clear message that yes, I am on the right path!

Agave in the throws of Madness

We are dedicating this production to all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer people who have been shunned, harassed, and sometimes killed. At times, our family members have denied our existence and our friends have cast us aside. We have sometimes been told not to be who we are. We have sometimes been denied employment, housing and medical care.

I play Agave in our production of The Bacchae. Agave is the daughter of the former King, Cadmus and the mother of Pentheus, the current King. Pentheus and Agave have denied the divinity of Dionysos. They have failed to properly honor Semele, the mother of Dionysos and sister of Agave, who died. Dionysos drives Agave mad. In her madness Agave kills her son because she thinks he is a lion. My character goes from lunacy to grief.

I am dedicating my performance to the LGBTQ Community. I dedicate it to you whose parents have not accepted you. I dedicate it to you who have lost friends because of your sexual orientation or gender identity. I dedicate it to you who have been killed and were anonymous because you lost your entire support system. I dedicate it to LGBTQ people who have given their lives to serve the community. I dedicate my performance to LGBTQ parents who have been denied access to their kids and to LGBTQ people who are not allowed to adopt because of who they are. This is for you.

I offer my body as a receptacle for those LGBTQ spirits who have been harmed or damaged. Please help me inspire and portray the truth. Please help us as we try to change hearts and minds and bring our world justice and equality.

Amethyst Moonwater

For Immediate Release                                                       November 3, 2009

Media Contact: Patricia Kevena Fili, 510-872-0568, pkf@circleofdionysos.org

The Circle of Dionysos proudly presents ritual theatre performances of The Bacchae: A Ritual of Coming Out on November 13 & 14, 2009, 8:00 p.m. at Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory at 1519 Mission Street in San Francisco. $20 donation is requested. No one turned away due to a lack of funds.

Euripides’ ‘The Bacchae’ is one of the best known Greek Tragedies. It is the story of a confrontation between Dionysos, The God of Ecstasy and the repressive and patriarchal ruling family of Thebes. We cannot help but notice that it holds important parallels to the trials members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community face today when coming out. It should be a celebratory experience. For far too many LGBT people who were raised in families and societies that told us this transformation is wrong, the process was equal parts pain and pleasure. We also cannot talk about coming out as a metaphorical death without acknowledging that too many in our community have been literally killed for trying to be who they are.

“I’m really excited by the way our production of The Bacchae manages to encapsulate both the tremendous rewards and the tremendous pain that our community has experienced coming out in a larger society that does not honor difference,” says Derik K. Cowan, Director of The Bacchae, “I hope that productions like this will help us ‘taste the sweet gift of the Gods that is freedom from those who have hurt us.’” As this rite reaches its climax, we will also honor those whose lives and deaths have affected our LGBT community.

The Circle of Dionysos is dedicated to the exploration and celebration of spiritual traditions that honor gender fluidity and sexual variance. We believe that universal diversity is purposeful, and that members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Community possess wisdom that is of vital importance to the community at large. Through public ritual performances, small study groups, and personal spiritual guidance, we seek to help both individuals and our community in discovering, developing, and expressing that wisdom.

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Sunday brought the cast together for a marathon rehearsal day. (Thank you cast!)

We’re really getting this story told. It was powerful and moving.

At one point I was so moved that I couldn’t stop crying.

The God of Wine, Ecstasy and Theater. Comedy. Mad Women. Ritual. Murder.

How much more can you ask for in a show?!

You know you want to go! Two nights only!

The Bacchae: A Ritual of Coming Out
November 13th & 14th, 8:00PM

At:

Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory
1519 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94103

Tickets available now at:

The Scarlet Sage Herb Co.
1173 Valencia St
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 821-0997

AND

The Sacred Well
536 Grand Avenue
Oakland , CA 94610
510.444.WELL(9355)