PantheaCon is such a major event for the pagan community, particularly on the West Coast, that the events and controversies that come out of it reverberate across the pagan blogoshere every year, and certainly this year is no exception.  I have no doubt that in the days to come, clergy-members from the Circle of Dionysos (including myself) will use this space to speak to some of the controversies that came out of this year’s convention as well as speaking in more depth about their experiences of some of our offerings this year,  but I wanted to start off our Pantheacon coverage with a recap of my personal experience at this year’s convention.

Hayden and I had intended to go down to the Con on Thursday evening, but circumstances dictated otherwise.  Instead, we found ourselves rushing through lots of last minute business and didn’t manage to leave our place until mid-afternoon on Friday.  We arrived at the Pantheacon hotel between 3:30 and 4PM, which meant that from the beginning of my con, I had already missed 2 of the 4 events at this con that I really wanted to attend (The Queer Pagan Panel at 1:30 and The Ekklesia Antinuou and Queer Youth Spirituality at 3:30).  As a multiple item presenter over the past several years, however, I’ve learned to let go of expectations and focus on what I need to get done.  So we went up to our room where I set up our altar to Dionysos while Hayden prepped for his workshop that evening, and then I headed up to the Pagan Alliance Suite to help out with Queer Cocktails.  The day caught up with me pretty quick, though, and I took an early evening.

Saturday I made my first Dennys run in the 10 years I’ve been going to PCon.  Really?  There’s a Denny’s that close?  And they offer a PCon attendee discount?  Awesome!  Then it was off to attend the only 1 of the 4 workshops I’d planned to make, Abel Gomez’s The Holy Queer: Shamans, Healers, Dancers, and Ritualists.  Abel did a great job giving an overview of various sacred roles held by people we would today identify as queer in precolonial cultures around the world, including a number of East Asian functionaries that I hadn’t encountered in my studies before.  I also have to admit to feeling gratified to see my own picture (as part of a poster collage) pop up in his slideshow as he talked about The Circle of Dionysos and his experience attending Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods.  Not that I have an ego or anything…

Next up for me was the my first official offering at Pcon, Ritual Theater, What is it and How to Use it, which I co-facilitated with Robin LaSirena.  This was the first time I’ve co-led a workshop at PCon, and I found it much more difficult than I expected.  I was incredibly grateful to be working with someone as talented and experienced in workshop leadership as Robin, and I learned a lot from the experience, which will hopefully help me grow in this realm.  We had planned an ambitious set of topics to discuss/exercises to perform for an hour and a half long workshop, and amazingly we made it through everything we planned to do.  Huzzah!

After a short stop at Tea With the Queens: Long Island Edition up in the Pagan Alliance Suite, It was time to move into ritual prep mode, with a dinnertime rehearsal for Oracles from the Living Tarot followed immediately by heading into preparation for A Modern Dionysian Initiation.  Can I just mention how bad the complimentary razors at the Doubletree are?  It took three of them to give me a proper drag shave in preparation for playing Dionysos!  Still, my prep needs were nothing compared to joi wolfwomyn’s preparation for taking on Janet!

I know Hayden is planning on writing a long post about the experience of creating and performing A Modern Dionysian Initiation later, so I won’t dwell too much on that aspect here.  Suffice to say, this was our most ambitious project to date, and I’m super happy that we pulled it off as well as we did.  Frankly, I don’t remember much of the ritual.  If I was “onstage,” then I was pretty deeply embedded in the experience.  The moments I do remember tend to be when I was off stage and trying to get things set up for my next entrance.  I also remember how invested our “audience participants” were in the interactive nature of the rite.  It was so much fun!  And it was really wonderful to hear the responses afterwards from folks who were thrilled that we took source material that for them “was church” and honored it as sacred.  Our culture creates such a division between the sacred and the profane (or even the mundane) that we forget all too often that our ancestors knew no such division.  One of the things I want our circle to do is to help re-member the unity of these realms, and I feel like we managed to do so with this rite.

Coming out of the high that was AMDI, very few of us got to bed at a reasonable hour, but still several of us managed to be up and back at it for The Circle of Dionysos’ other offering at Con this year: Queer Rites, Making Meaning for and from Sexual/Gender Diversity.  There was a lot of great discussion on the panel, and we’ll be linking to the recording once it is up, but I want to highlight one interaction that for me encapsulated everything I was hoping would come from this panel.  It came in the form of back to back questions during the question and answer period.  The first was from someone in the audience who earlier in the panel had made a comment that set a lot of people in the room to shifting uncomfortably.  That person, recognizing that tails had been stepped upon, came forward and asked, “I’m not trying to be offensive, I’m here in friendship trying to understand.  How can I word myself better so as to not give offence? ”  After the panel responded, this question was immediately followed by a transperson asking, “How as a transperson can I learn to see the difference between someone who is acting from hostility and someone who is just trying to understand but doesn’t have the right words yet?”  I’m paraphrasing here, but it was a profound moment for me to watch two people make a choice try to find ways to listen and communicate compassionately instead of continuing a pattern of projection and reaction.  And it was magical.

Last up for me was Oracles from the Living Tarot on Sunday Night.  This year marks my 10th year taking part in OLT (6 of which have been at PCon) and this production was the 5th that I directed/coordinated (my 3rd at PCon).  So it was a big year for me.  I was really nervous going into this ritual as I knew the deck this year had a lot of heavy stuff to unload, and unload it did–Strength, The Tower, and Death all got pulled within the first seven cards, and two of them were back to back.  Get ready for a rocky spring folks!  I was soo happy that The Magician, which I was aspecting, got pulled for Litha and I got to shift all that heavy energy into focused intent and action while getting the whole room up and moving!

I’d intended to go to Queer Celtic Mythology after OLT was over, but my energy was pretty much done. Instead it was up to our room to de-costume and decompress, then out for a last visit up to the PA Suite.  Another Con was done, and in the morning we would pack, take the drive north, and collapse…

Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods Playshop and Performance

San Francisco, Ca.  The Circle of Dionysos is proud to present the fourth production of their signature ritual performance piece Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods, conceived of and coordinated by Derik K Cowan at Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory.

In current times, religion is generally seen to be at odds with sexuality and gender variance, and members of the LBGTIQQ community often become victims of spiritual violence.  Historically, however, this was not the case—those who were gender variant or homoerotically inclined held important and unique positions in the spiritual traditions of many cultures around the world.  Yes They Are! was created to reintroduce some of those ancient (and not so ancient) traditions into our culture and to provide a source of affirmation and blessing to those within the LBGTIQQ community.   To date the Circle of Dionysos has performed three productions of this ritual performance, each featuring a different cast of Deities culled from various cultural pantheons, and all of our performances have attracted both standing room only audiences and rave reviews.

In addition to the ritual performance, The Circle of Dionysos will also be offering an interactive “playshop” facilitated by members of our cast.  During this playshop attendees will be given the opportunity to experiment with some of our creative processes and perhaps develop their own rituals of affirmation.  This playshop is the seed a larger Yes They Are! project that we plan to eventually develop into a full weekend retreat, so this is a great chance to get a glimpse of where we are growing and add your own input to influence our evolution!

Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods will be presented for one night only on July 3^rd.  The Playshop will begin at 7PM with the performance scheduled for 8:30PM.  Suggested Donation is $20, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds.  For more information, please contact The Circle of Dionysos at info@circleofdionysos.com.

The Circle of Dionysos is proud to present our first large public “flash mob” ritual for 2010 for our Beltane offering.

We intend to honor Dolores Park with this rite because it is one of the main outdoor areas utilized by the GLBTQ community in San Francisco for personal and communal gatherings.

The park is also facing a major renovation in 2011 that may shut the park down for more than a year. Because of this we want to consecrate this land to joy and play for the coming year. We also hope to influence the powers that be through our magic to not shut down the entire park at once for the renovations, but to work in sections and leave portions of the park available for use.

Above all else this is a ritual of PLAY. We face a lot of seriousness in our lives, individually and collectively. It is important to take moments to PLAY. We’re happy and overjoyed to be able to provide a place for you to play.

To that end know that game playing is a part of the rite. These games will span the gambit from physical to mental and at the end of the ritual someone will emerge as May King (any one of any or no gender can be May King)!

The ritual begins promptly at 1pm. We will gather in the lower portion of the park off of 18th Street. You will have no problem identifying us. We will be a collection of brightly dressed Fools and Queens. Please feel encouraged to come dressed in your most jovial and brightly colored costuming as well. Also feel free to bring picnic materials and make a day out of it. Many of us will be heading over to How Weird Street Faire following.

Happy Beltane Everyone, and do come PLAY and consecrate some land with us. It will be a blast!

What: Guerrilla Maypole – A Ritual of Play in Honor of Dolores Park
When: Sunday, May 9, 2010. 1pm
Where: Dolores Park, San Francisco

For More Information: info@circleofdionysos.org

Donations appreciated but not expected.

It was that time of year again!  PantheaCon 2010 was held at the Doubletree in San Jose February 12-15th!  Pantheacon is one of if not the largest Pagan Convention in the United States–4 days packed full of rituals, workshops, lectures, concerts, parties, vendors, hospitality suites, and more!  Here’s a quick rundown of what The Circle of Dionysos did at this year’s PCon:

Our big event for PCon this year was the return of Yes They Are! Meeting and Greeting the Queerest of the Gods.  Our production in 2009 was a huge success with lots of people calling it their favorite event of  Con.  Not ones to rest on our laurels however, we brought in a whole new cadre of Deities with new messages for this year!  We were again standing room only, and even though we had to fight to be heard against  the rock concert playing next door, my sense was that our audience poured all of their power into hearing what we had to say.   Certainly as a performer I could see and hear the audience’s emotional investment in the tears on faces during certain scenes and the laughter during the more lighthearted moments.  I’m super proud of our cast and crew of ritualists for stepping up and I’m looking forward to next year and working with the new people who came to us after the ritual and expressed interest in bringing their Deities in!

Our fiscal sponsors The Pagan Alliance hosted a hospitality suite as usual this year, so we participated in their events as well.  We were official co-hosts for Pizzanalia!, the Saturday Evening pizza party from 5:30-7:00PM, and while we weren’t there in any official capacity, you can bet we were around for the Queer Meet and Greet Cocktail Party Friday Night from 8:00 to 9:00 PM.

Our entire board of directors and many other members of the Yes They Are! cast also performed in this year’s Oracles from the Living Tarot on Sunday Night at 7PM.  This made for an intense switchover between productions and led to some very creative connecting of the rituals (including The Fool from OLT being transformed onstage into Dionysos for YTA).  All and all a very magical night of ritual theater–so magical that it claimed my voice for the rest of the night and the next day!

We had an amazing time and are already planning for next year!

Agave in the throws of Madness

We are dedicating this production to all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer people who have been shunned, harassed, and sometimes killed. At times, our family members have denied our existence and our friends have cast us aside. We have sometimes been told not to be who we are. We have sometimes been denied employment, housing and medical care.

I play Agave in our production of The Bacchae. Agave is the daughter of the former King, Cadmus and the mother of Pentheus, the current King. Pentheus and Agave have denied the divinity of Dionysos. They have failed to properly honor Semele, the mother of Dionysos and sister of Agave, who died. Dionysos drives Agave mad. In her madness Agave kills her son because she thinks he is a lion. My character goes from lunacy to grief.

I am dedicating my performance to the LGBTQ Community. I dedicate it to you whose parents have not accepted you. I dedicate it to you who have lost friends because of your sexual orientation or gender identity. I dedicate it to you who have been killed and were anonymous because you lost your entire support system. I dedicate it to LGBTQ people who have given their lives to serve the community. I dedicate my performance to LGBTQ parents who have been denied access to their kids and to LGBTQ people who are not allowed to adopt because of who they are. This is for you.

I offer my body as a receptacle for those LGBTQ spirits who have been harmed or damaged. Please help me inspire and portray the truth. Please help us as we try to change hearts and minds and bring our world justice and equality.

Amethyst Moonwater

Home

I was born on St. Patrick’s Day, March 17, 1951 and named Patrick Kevin Feely. While I was born with the biological sex of a male, I knew at the age of 4 that I felt more like a girl. I grew up hiding this and trying to show how tough I was. I played sports and stood up to bullies. As an adult, I was open to my lovers that I was bisexual, but I still kept my gender identity hidden. After all, I didn’t know or hadn’t heard of anyone else like me. My gender issues would come up every now and then. I said to myself that I needed to focus on progressive issues and not be so ‘selfish’ by allowing myself to do something about my gender fluidity. I realized in my 40’s that I couldn’t hold the gender tide back any longer. I began to transition in 1995. When I transitioned as a Transgender Woman, I started to feel at home. I was finally able to overcome financial obstacles, and I received my gender confirmation surgery at the age of 56 in 2007.

I was raised as a Roman Catholic. It didn’t take. I was always conscious of spirit. I have been an activist since I was 13. Spirit was why I was motivated to work for social justice and do political work. When I went to my first witchcraft ritual in my 30’s in Portland, Oregon, I felt at home. When I was transitioning, I would often dream that my form was encased in amethyst. I believe that the Goddess was providing me protection as I was moving forward. I am Pisces and have always been highly influenced by the moon and water. So when it came to choosing a magical name, I came up with Amethyst Moonwater.

It is a privilege to be a part of the Circle of Dionysos to do ritual theatre. I have tried to live a path that is genuine and authentic. I am a Transgender Woman, Bisexual, Witch, Pagan Priestess and many other things. I have offered a workshop, entitled Gender Identity and Pagan Communities: What Wigs You Out the Most? I support the right of everyone to pursue a unique and true path. Those of us in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) Communities have much to offer. We offer delight, wit, compassion, and intelligence. Many of us have faced the loss of family and overcome obstacles. For instance, I have lost connection with my daughter who wishes no contact with me. Many of us in the LGBTQ Communities have courage, strength and resilience. We are as essential to the greater community as anyone. No one can afford to take us for granted. This is what we are trying to portray in the Circle of Dionysos. We are sharing our vision and our mission. It is an honor for me to be a part of such a noble quest.

- Amethyst Moonwater

Is coming out the first time you recognize your self in the word gay, lesbian, bi, trans, homo? Is coming out the first time that you act on your self identification? Is coming out the first time that you tell someone of your new identity?

I view coming out as a call. Calling or vocation is most often talked about in religious literature and usually in the context of someone moving into some kind of ministry. “I was called by God to become a priest.” “I felt a call on my life.” Coming out is a much similar process. There is this little voice inside that keeps pointing at things in the world and saying “you’re like that.” Now what we do with that call is up to us. I believe that a call to become more fully gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer is a spiritual call. As are all calls to further authenticity. As are all calls that help us peal back another onion skin layer of the being we call ourselves.

I believe that at the center of our being sits our connection to God, the Divine, the Universe, Mystery or whatever name you use to signify that which is beyond. At the center of our being is the connection and any self exploration and revealing of deeper truths about ourselves moves us closer to that sacred essence within. As we mover further in it also allows our truest essence to move out.

Coming out is a sacred event. Coming out moves the gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer person one step closer to living as they truly are. Coming out brings freedom.

Joseph Campbell writes about the Hero’s Journey in A Hero with a Thousand Faces,

The adventure is always and everywhere a passage beyond the veil of the known into the unknown; the powers that watch at the boundary are dangerous; to deal with them is risky; yet for anyone with competence and courage the danger fades.

This is what many of us face when we’re coming out. We don’t know what kind of reaction we’re going to get from our loved ones. We don’t know what kind of reaction we’re going to receive from the world at large. We may know that our immediate families of blood, or choice, will be super supportive, but we don’t know if our neighbor in 2B has some hidden axe to grind with queers. We don’t know who or what is waiting around the corner to take their fear out upon us.

Coming out is an act of courage. It is a move toward the truth. It is a move that strips away shackles and releases our ability to slay the dragon, or rather tame the dragon and use it’s power for our own.

For truly we are the ones in charge of our identity. As much as others will try to put us into boxes, literally and figuratively, we are the ones in charge of how we feel about ourselves. If we find the courage within ourselves to at first accept, then to tolerate, and finally embrace the things that make us queer, then we have taken our power back. No longer will anyone’s taunts have sway over how we feel about ourselves. And once we have taken our power back, we can use that power to build the kind of society where we are valued. Because with our own power back, we can finally show to our society at large, just why it is that we are so very rare and special, and how by embracing us the world at large becomes a better place for all.

Coming out is about peace.