Yesterday I spent much of the day going through un-filed paperwork in preparation for doing taxes and having people over for my upcoming Tarot as a Body of Lore Class and I came upon a couple of things that I knew would make for Sip of the Day material.  I’ve spent much of the morning deciding which to use today, and over my walk decided to go for the more upbeat choice.  Then I came home to find my Facebook Newsfeed filled with several copies of the story of a gay teen who committed suicide recently after being rejected by his family and Pat Robertson’s idiotic comments regarding Haiti, and my mood switched back to dark and political.

The following is a poem I wrote back in 2004 when the Ca Supreme Court shut down San Francisco’s Same Sex Marriage offerings and annulled the marriages that happened during the Spring of Love. Reading it reminded me of how joyous and painful that experience was, a mingling of joy and pain that we experienced again in California in 2008. Whether or not each of us believes that the fight for Same Sex Marriage is one that we as individuals would have chosen or we as a community should have chosen, I think it is important to acknowledge the wounding that this battle has caused to our community. Because I want that wounding (not to mention the billion dollar political industry that has grown around Same Sex Marriage initiatives and drained our community dry of resources) to end, I send all of my best wishes and support to those arguing in the current federal court case about the constitutionality of Prop 8.

“I’m sorry”, I cried as I plunged off the side

To ascend the precipice of hell,

“But I know who I am and I know what I want

And you won’t turn me into my shell.”

Pain drives toward excess

And shutters still hide

Though I learned how to act an emotion

Anger and bitterness,

Triumph and Pride

Deeper, wider than the ocean.

It Wasn’t Enough.

I searched through the bars, I played in the clubs,

Drank myself dry, tried all the drugs

But never could I find the peace

That comes with a care that will not be denied,

The love that refuses release.

And then you came–

And when I shrieked my pain into your darkness,

You would not let go.

And when you tried to spare me life’s hardness

I did not except your no.

A moment of hope, a faint ray of light

Quickly covered, plunging again into night.

What my parents obtained

The courts have retained

And the president preaches must always remain–

Recognized love we can’t own.

A mere slip of paper, professional, sleek,

Stating not business but family I seek

Denied–

Else nations will crumble, society fail

Communities crumble, civil life pale

For reasons myriad and unknown.

Four thousand coupkes laid across their altars

Knives to the chest, all movement falters.

Eight thousand hearts fed, still beating, to wolves.

That should teach those who seek similar moves.

And our friends?  Where are they?

Except for a scant few

Who dare to espouse the unpopular view.

“That’s not important,” they say,

“Just a distraction from the big moves at play.”

Bull shit.

Since when is my status as a second class citizen

Any less important than that of any other?

Cause and effect are still kith and kin–

Brother is taught to kill brother.

The shutters once again rise

To buffer against anger’s tide

And I shriek agai into your darkness

As I flip through the new Modern Bride…