I first heard this news story (see below) about an incumbent mayor in the Midwest a few days ago. It seems shortly before the upcoming mayoral election, he had pictures leaked to the press of him in women’s lingerie and makeup. Some of the pictures are very suggestive. There is no definitive proof that the person in the pictures is the mayor, but the facial features are almost dead on, including a very distinctive nose and lips.
There is something that really bothers me about this story and the way it is being covered. I felt drawn to make a comment on the story the moment I read it. I have taken the time to figure out just what it is that bothers me so much.
First off there is the issue of privacy. What the mayor does on his own time is his own matter. I personally could care less whether he, or any elected official cross-dresses or not. Some say that it has no bearing on him as a leader. I actually think it does. His willingness to break taboos, even if only in his private life, does say something about who he is as a leader. To me taboo breaking is a good thing. Those are my values. There are people who feel exactly the opposite. However this isn’t really what bothers me about the story.
What really gets me about the story is that it fundamentally about misogyny.
Misogyny? What? What are you talking about?
The main reason, other than it being a mayor involved, that this is such a controversial thing is because it is a man aping the appearance of a woman. I suggest that if the mayor was a woman, and pictures came out of her dressed as a man, the story would not have nearly the impact.
Why might this be true? There are a few reasons actually. The images portray the mayor in suggestive poses. Poses that we’ve all seen women strike in magazines that cater to the straight male eye. In straight culture there is historically no male equivalent for those poses. In straight culture men aren’t objectified for their sexual appeal in the way that women are. We are more familiar with, and accepting of women as objects. There is male objectification in the queer world, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking straight, Midwestern, normurbia.
In addition wouldn’t a woman who made it to the position of mayor of a city already be wearing a feminized version of male drag? Wouldn’t she already be aping patriarchy just to get to that position? This is what every woman who puts on a suit and tie and dresses as a professional does everyday.
The news, the scandal of this is because it’s about a man in power taking on a role that is perceived to be powerless. And it’s an election year.
In my dissertation work I came across a study that wanted to find out why there is, usually, a lack of intimacy, which is not the same as sex, between straight male friends. The authors of the study hypothesized that it was because the straight men did not wish to be perceived of as gay. It’s a logical conclusion no doubt. However, what the study turned up was, underneath it all, the participants didn’t want to be perceived as feminine.
I find this over and over again. The roots of homophobia aren’t about same sex attraction, it’s about gender variance. For queer men it’s the idea that we are making ourselves less like men by being gay. For queer women it is the threat to male dominance. In the end however it still comes down to misogyny and andro-superiority.
Ardhanarishwara
I found the following comment on YouTube about this story. It illustrates my point nicely.
“Dude I have sympathy for him.
Not that he was dressed in lingerie like a women, but being mistaken as a woman.
”
Let’s keep the discussion going. What do you think?
Of course men dressing up as women is misogynist – just like it’s racist when they don blackface. It is mockery of an oppressed class. Funny how they always dress up as extremely sexualised femmes and never women hanging out at home is joggy bottoms and a baggy top.
The misogyny I was actually commenting on was in regards to men’s reactions to seeing other men garbed in the role of the feminine. Making the point that being seen as feminine or as a women is deemed as lower.
Now to the point about men dressing as women being misogynistic. I think it is dangerous to categorize or label a whole range of experiences as one thing. I am sure for some men donning the garb of the feminine is a misogynistic exercise. I don’t believe that is the motivation for all male cross dressing.
I can only speak to my own experience. The drag that I put on comes directly out of my worship of the Divine Androgyne and specifically the form Arhdhanarishwara which is classically depicted as half Shiva Half Shakti. It is a depiction of ideal male/ideal female, but the deity goes beyond projected images of our own gender issues. It is about the reconciliation of perceived opposites and calls into question whether or not those “opposites” are really in opposition.
When I don the garb I am presenting myself in more a more feminized way as determined by the assigned gender beauty norms. However I am also baring my hairy chest and legs. I am working at showing up as a more androgynous looking being that mixes the beauty of both sexes together in a new and unusual way.
As to the point of dressing up in the “at home” look. I don’t dress up in the “at home” look when I go out as a man. I put on nicer clothes and I do my part to emulate the “attractive” man. I think that point has less to do with misogyny and more to do with public/private presentation of self.
I also need to point out that by donning the role of the “lesser” in our society, and by doing it often, publicly and without hiding I make myself part of an oppressed class. The argument in reverse that can be used is that I can take the guise off and hide my call to present the way that I am. This is true, but I can’t erase the memories of all who have seen me in the guise of the feminine, nor can I erase all the evidence that exists that lives out in the world. I can not hide. In order to be a fully healthy human being I do not want to hide. Hiding is self oppression and societal oppression working together.
Please do share more of your thinking on this topic. It is a great ground for discussion.